A lot of us have had the misfortune of dealing with a self-proclaimed “nice guy.” You know the type: someone who makes a big point of being kind and respectful, then gets very annoyed when all that supposed niceness doesn’t earn them the attention they were hoping for. Of course, that particular attitude isn’t exclusive to men.
The r/Nicegirls subreddit collects examples of women showing a similar mix of entitlement and unrealistic expectations, often when dating or dealing with relationships. We’ve rounded up some of the posts shared there below, so scroll down to read them and see what you make of it.
#1 I Don’t Care Anymore. Useless Beggars
#2 I Asked If She Would Split The $350 Sushi Dinner She Wanted For The First Date…
#3 Girl Completely Flips Out On Me For Asking To Split The Bill At Nobu
Every so often, we all have to deal with people whose behavior gets under our skin. Maybe they’re rude, selfish or simply difficult to be around. Whatever the case, it usually doesn’t take long for us to notice when somebody else is acting badly.
Yet when it comes to judging ourselves, we tend to be much less critical. A lot of us probably believe that we’re decent and generally treat others well. In our own minds, we’re usually one of the good ones.
#4 That’s A First
#5 Suggested A Date, Got A Lecture
I suggested we meet for drinks somewhere with a view, or check out a new exhibit at a museum that looked interesting. She asked if we could get coffee the following week. Cool, that works. When I followed up to set up the date, she sent this. What’s really funny is that I don’t drink alcohol either, it’s right there on my dating profile.
#6 Just Got Her Number An Hour Ago And We Haven’t Talked And Got To Know Each Other At All
In fact, research suggests that almost everyone thinks this way. A study by i2 Media Research found that 98% of people believed they were among the nicest 50% of the population.
Clearly, the numbers don’t quite add up. We can’t all be nicer than most other people at the same time, which suggests that at least some of us may have a slightly generous view of our own behavior.
#7 Can’t Make This Up
#8 Mad At Me For Sleeping
#9 Sometimes You Just Gotta Dish It Back
And we don’t only do this when judging our personalities. Researchers from the universities of Chicago and Virginia found something similar when they studied how people saw their own appearance.
Participants were shown photos of themselves that included the real image alongside versions that had been digitally altered to look slightly more or less attractive.
When asked to identify the original, people were more likely to choose an enhanced version of themselves. When they looked at pictures of other people, however, they were much better at choosing the real one.
#10 She Is 41 Btw
#11 I Hate Dating Htx Girls
#12 The Bullet That Dodged Itself
So why are we sometimes so bad at judging ourselves? Part of the answer is something psychologists call illusory superiority. It’s a cognitive bias that leads people to overestimate their positive qualities and abilities compared with everyone around them.
Seeing ourselves in a positive light can help protect our self-esteem and make us feel more confident about what we can handle.
#13 Just Your Normal 1st Chat Questions
#14 Matched With Her, Didn’t Respond Immediately, And She Sent This
#15 I’m Sure He Fumbled
As a result, someone can genuinely believe they’re being kind while still behaving in ways that hurt the people around them.
Pointing that out may not always go down well either, especially when it clashes with the positive image they have of themselves. Of course, some may be perfectly aware of what they’re doing and simply not care.
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#16 Why Even Ask What I’m Looking For If You Assume I’m Immediately Lying?
#17 Did I Say Something Wrong Here?
#18 “My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Because I Sa Him. Wtf???”
According to YourTango, there are several signs that can reveal whether someone is genuinely nice or simply wants others to see them that way.
One thing people who aren’t quite as nice as they seem often struggle with is taking accountability. Being told you’ve done something wrong can be uncomfortable, and admitting you messed up takes a certain amount of self-awareness.
Someone who constantly explains away their behavior or finds a way to make every problem somebody else’s fault may not be as considerate as they believe. The same goes for those who regularly put others down, only to dismiss it as a joke when someone gets hurt.
#19 All Because I Didnt Respond For 2 Hours
#20 Am I Crazy Here?
#21 She Regularly Posts Trash Like This On Her Story, With A Good Combination Of “Men Are Trash” + “Why Am I Single ”
A genuinely good person is also likely to show gratitude. They notice what others do for them and make it clear that they value having them in their lives. Someone who rarely appreciates anyone, on the other hand, may be revealing a much less generous side of themselves.
And if they constantly look down on others, that can sometimes come from underlying insecurity. Putting someone else down can become a way of protecting their own self-image and feeling better about themselves.
#22 Was Her Opening Message Btw
#23 Not The First Time I’ve Come Across “I’ll Probably Hurt Your Feelings”
#24 Does This Profile Count? LOL
So it’s worth paying attention when someone seems very invested in convincing everyone that they’re a nice person, yet their actions rarely back that up.
After all, making a good impression is easy. Living up to it takes much more. In the end, how someone consistently treats others usually tells you far more than the image they try to present.
#25 I Dated This Woman For 9 Days. The Selfishness She Speaks Of Was My Monthly Date Budget Being “Only” $400
#26 This Isn’t A Dating Bio, It’s A Hostage Agreement
#27 I Simply Respected Her Rejection
#28 Is It Time To Breakup With My Girlfriend?
#29 If Your Parents Are Divorced… Out
#30 When Your Dating Bio Hands Men A Job Description
#31 Greet With The Wrong Name? Must Be Gay
#32 Known Each Other For A Week With Dry Convos To Boot
#33 Was Having A Nice Chat About Our Travels And Then I Asked Her Out In A “Non-Assertive” Way
#34 Literally Nothing I Can Say Except That’s Crazy
#35 Taking A Week To Respond Just To Be Rude Is A Different Level Of Audacity
#36 Messaging On Work Number After I Blocked Her
#37 Dating Is Exhausting
#38 She Preaches Love And Kindness, Then Calls Me Meaningless For Not Worshiping Her God
#39 That Was An Easy Left Swipe For The “Tough Girl”
#40 Brotherrr, I Was Just Making Fun Of Myself
#41 20 Minutes Is Too Long For A Response Apparently
#42 This Is What Peak Delusion Looks Like
#43 For Your Viewing Pleasure
#44 Girl Wants Me To Join Her Discord Right As We Start Talking. Flips Out When I Say No
#45 I Kindly Told Her In Person I Wasn’t Romantically Interested After 1st Date
#46 She Told Me She Didn’t Care About Money But Quality Time. I Thought She Was A Good Catch Until…
#47 Woman Freaked Out When I Wouldn’t Give Her $200
#48 Idk You Tell Me
#49 I Cant Believe She Posted This And Thought She Was In The Right
#50 Risky First Message. Glad She Didn’t Overreact
#51 This Girl Added Me On Instagram Randomly. I’ve Known Her For About A Week, And Told Her Today I’d Be Busy (She Didn’t Acknowledge It) And Because I Wasn’t Responding, Had This To Say
#52 Her Answer After Months Of Ghosting Me
#53 The Warmth Exudes From This Beautiful Soul
#54 I Come Across Some Of The Best (Worst) Profiles
#55 10 Min Girl
#56 Finally Found The One
#57 Welp, It Finally Happened
#58 Jesus, What Did I Do Wrong?
